parenting

I’m not a parent & I’m not sure what the future holds for me as far as that goes, but one thing I do know is many parents out there could use some pointers, unfortunately I’m sure their all too stubborn to take good advice. I know if I was a parent I’d be very open with my child. I know many people who feel they have great relationships with their children and think they would tell them anything but most of the time thats not true. Most American kids are very uncomfortable to say the least when it comes to talking to their parents about things like drugs, sex, & any ideas that lay outside the norm, and usually they have good reason to be fearful of how their parents might react, or that they’ll take it the wrong way. This to me is a fundamental problem with our culture. We often try so hard to craft children into something thats near impossible to live up to. First off parents should be open with their children about all aspects of life. What is it that people are so afraid of? If we spent less time trying to shelter and hide things from our young and more time educating them about certain things I think we’d have a more mature society in general. Why is it that we constantly tell children not to lie, but at the same time half of what they’re taught growing up is a lie? The tooth fairy, santa claus, and church in my opinion represent this hypocracy. Instead of telling your child not to smoke while puffing on a cigarette just be more open & explain how you made the mistake of trying something once and ended up addicted to it (when you probably knew better). There are countless examples where being open could help a relationship and in my opinion help raise a more level headed person. To stick with that example, even if your open with your kids & they still end up smoking as adults it doesn’t mean that it wasn’t a good decision, because certain things are just out of your control, but I can almost gaurentee that treating your child with respect & being honest will help preserve a long lasting relationship. One perfect example I can think of has to do with my girlfriend and her mom. My girlfriend enjoys smoking cannabis (has since I’ve known her), so does her mom. They both know one another smoke yet they rarely speak about it & have never smoked together. This to me makes no sense & the only reason its like that is because of a lack of transparency from her mom growing up(i’m sure alot of this has to do with the paranoia factor involved with something illegal). Bottom line, if you want your children to talk to you about their life don’t make yourself such an intimidating figure. Don’t make situations awkward that don’t have to be. Think about when you were a kid & how you felt about the outdated style & philosophy of your parents and having to take orders that you felt made no sense. Is that the type of parent you want to be. Parents should be able to be peers & mentors to their kids. Believe it or not you can be real and be a good parent. Why not stop worrying so much and trying to dictate who your child becomes and instead embrace them as they are? Many parents really are the problem these days & it would help if they’d accept that the methods they use to teach their children may be flawed. I understand that its difficult to drop the whole “I’m right because I’m the parent” mentality, but like I said it should be your goal to be a coworker rather than a boss to your kids, because once you gain their respect it becomes easier to be a good parent. The fact is if your not honest with your kids someone down the road will be, and its not gonna make you look too good in their eyes when they realize certain things. Lately I’ve been thinking that our society might end up like the movie “idiocracy” in which evolution stops rewarding intelligence & the stupidest most dominator type people takeover the planet. Maybe thats why things are the way they are, maybe its only the stupid people that are having kids these days. The rest of us are either too weary to bring new life into this chaotic world, or planning on adopting.

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